chaoticcliche | Cynical Chaos: Sabin (Reply)

“Sabin Khilkov.
Panacea’s prodigal son. Both their top priority and their deepest loss. The savior, the guardian, humanity’s guiding light. He was much better known to the public by his code name: Eden.

My fingers absently trace along the words etched into the ID tags around my neck. Sabin’s birth date and ID number. It’s the only thing left with his real name on it. Every other time it’s Eden, or a sequence number, or some other random code name Panacea can think of to keep me from knowing they’re talking about him. He used to never take it off. I can still see his face when he gave it to me. The last time his dual-colored eyes held hope instead of fear.

“This is the only thing I’ve managed to keep away from them. Will you keep it safe for me?””

Here he is! The man, the myth, the legend! Sabin is the male lead of Cynical Chaos, and romantic interest to the MC, Ariana. Sabin spent the majority of his life on the streets, running from Panacea. Being constantly hunted, any attempt he made at human contact was met with tragedy and death to those he befriended, forcing him into a life of isolation where his only friends were the stray dogs he’d meet along his travels. Until he met Ariana. It’s his abduction that sparks the war between Panacea and the Unseen.

Sabin is the only one of my main characters that does not physically appear in the novel. His presence is instead a ghostly one, haunting the reader like he haunts Ariana’s mind.

Here’s a little bit more about him under the cut!

(oncoming cw: tiny references to child abuse and slightly more detailed references to self-harm)

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Full Name: Sabin Khilkov
Nickname(s): None, “Eden”
Pronunciations: Say-bin/Hill-koh-v
Age: 16
Height: 6'0
Birthday: August 5th
Species: Hybrid (Human, Chaos Power)
Race: Mixed-Race (There’s…a lot of DNA in this boy. He’s brown though)
Personality: Soft-spoken and quiet. Has a habit of scratching himself when nervous or uncomfortable. Sabin is a beam of positivity and optimism. He loves adventure and travel, and could talk your ear off about all his favorite parts of Earth and human culture. His first language is Russian. He has a sense of gratitude that Ariana was super envious of. However, he projects all that light in order to hide the crippling depression lying underneath. He has a very hard time standing up for himself and expressing emotions because, with his powers and abilities, he was always expected to be the “bigger person”. It’s near impossible for him to say no to anyone without experiencing extreme guilt and self-hatred. The biased teachings, abuse, and constant surveillance from Panacea has left him feeling unattached to his body and self, like he belongs to everyone but him. He copes with these thoughts and repressed emotions through self-harm, usually by scratching or with sharper objects he finds. Thanks to his healing powers, this goes mostly unnoticed.

Favorite Things: Libraries, his dogs (especially his current one, Dimitri), traveling, meeting new people, learning new customs, journaling, keepsakes/souvenirs, disposable cameras, old music from the 20s, movies, helping people, science (especially biology and geography), growing his hair long, his family, spending time with Ariana, abandoned homes, a specific vacation cabin he found during his travels
Least Favorite Things: Panacea, fighting, using his powers for anything other than healing and escaping, Kendra and Andrea, intimacy, anyone touching him when he’s disassociating, arguing, making decisions, conflict, failure,